Excited Out of My Wits!

Oooh yeahh baby! Hahaha. Tonight, I'm going to the high school for a little Open House. What fun. Lol. I'm really excited though. I know Summer and Kit and Gazelle and Alphonse are going. Tara might. She's not sure. It's pretty cool though! I am, like I said, very happy!

The band teacher came again today. He had to audition some more people. I am so hoping that I'll be in one of the more advanced bands. That would be amazing, wouldn't it? I think he thought I was good. He did ask if I was taking privat lessons. xD

Mmm. Today was pretty good, but we had to sign this card for Merry today. It was so sad. Her dad died Wednesday. Sunday, at Youth Group, the Murphies told me about it. I felt absolutely heartbroken. I can't even imagine living in a world where my dad isn't. It makes me feel so small and pathetic....

It's freezing out. Absolutely freezing. Hastings was supposed to call me last night, but I don't know if he did because I went out to dinner. STUPID. *sigh* I asked him to come tonight. I don't know if he will, but it's making me even more excited thinking about it. I need it.

I've been thinking about life and death a lot, since Merry's dad died. What would I do if that happened? I'd probably not be able to speak or do anything for weeks, maybe months. I'd just sit there, remembering all the good times with him. I've realized that I don't have a whole lot to hold on to. It really makes me want to be with him more. :( But if I do, I know Mary will be so angry with me. She thinks I'm supposed to love her more than him. Or so it seems. I just really don't know what to do. I want to be happy, I do, but what if it makes Mary freak out? I'd never be able to forgive myself.

I felt really lonely today. Just seeing all of my friends together-laughing, hugging, playing, teasing, flirting and those looks makes me feel so alone. It's not right for me to feel this way. Especially because I am so happy for them.

What can I do? I can't help how I feel, can I? Oh well. Whatever. I'll get over it....I hope.

Anyhow, I'm going to go and see if Rhiannon has emailed our RP back. If she has, I'll be a whole ton of a lot happier. Keep your fingers crossed!

xoxo